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Designing an “Heir-Fair” Estate Plan
Few events cause sibling rivalry to rear its ugly head more than the death of a parent. As much as parents try, it’s usually impossible to divide an estate into precisely equal shares – and sometimes that’s not a parent’s goal. There are ways for parents to minimize friction, however:
- Talk with your children about your intentions, particularly if you are leaving more to one child than the others. This “favoritism” may be due to health problems, financial setbacks or to “even out” assistance given to others during your lifetime. Whatever the reasons, discuss the plans with your children. Don’t surprise them when the will is probated and leave them wondering “why?”
- A letter of instruction may prevent disputes over who should receive certain assets of sentimental value. Unlike a will or living trust, a letter of instruction is not a legal document, but it will express your wishes regarding items of personal property and can be updated without the formal requirements of a will. If it’s important for one child to have a particular item, consider giving it to him or her now. A gift also removes the value of the asset from your gross estate.
- If one child wishes to buy the family home, consider leaving it to him or her in your estate plan and dividing the rest of the estate among the other children. If the home represents a major portion of the estate, allow the child to purchase the other siblings’ shares or place the home in a trust for the benefit of all the children. The child living in the home will pay rent that is then distributed to the others; he or she can also buy the home from the trust.
- When designating assets for the children, consider valuation issues. Leaving the silver to one and an antique vase to another may seem “fair” today, but the assets may not appreciate at the same rate over the years. Having periodic appraisals will help determine if one child is reaping a windfall and will also assist the executor in appraising the assets for estate tax purposes.
Copyright © 2007 by R&R Newkirk. All rights reserved.

