Discussing Finances with Parents

Increasingly, sons and daughters in their 40s, 50s and 60s are finding themselves assuming responsibility for parents in their 70s, 80s and 90s. It’s a good idea early on for parents and adult children to have a talk about the parents’ financial situation and estate plans.

Children eventually may be asked to assume responsibility for the parents, or at least to manage the parents’ money. Some parents are reluctant to divulge information to children, and some children hesitate to bring up finances for fear of appearing impatient or greedy. But knowing where a parent banks, what life insurance policies are in effect and whether retirement assets are available may make the child’s future responsibilities easier.

What subjects should be covered when parents meet with their adult children? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Is there a will? The child doesn’t necessarily need to know what’s in the will, just where it can be found when needed. The same is true of revocable living trusts. Have funeral or burial arrangements been made?
  • Are there life insurance policies? It may be helpful for the child to know the cash value of the policies in the event funds are needed for the parent’s care. It’s especially important for the child to know whether additional premiums are due, to avoid having a policy lapse.
  • Where does the parent bank? If the child is asked to assume management responsibilities at some point, it’s important for the child to be able to find all those assets, as well as the location of any safe deposit boxes and the keys.
  • Has the parent provided for health care directives? Children should know about the existence of living wills or health care powers of attorney (sometimes called “proxies”).


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Copyright © 2007 by R&R Newkirk. All rights reserved.

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